Monday, April 14, 2008

I want to take this opportunity to clarify a few myths that have become socially acceptable. However, I think it’s totally unfair because when believed, these untruths will misguide you and lead you down paths of false high hopes.

There are many concepts that fall into this category but today my issue is with the ones surrounding motherhood. One of the biggest is the 9-month pregnancy. I am just not sure why our society has led us to believe pregnancy is a 9-month process. When you are pregnant you count by weeks and a full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks. You do the math, but typically this is 10 months, not 9. So basically after week 36, your doctor will probably tell you that you have about 4 weeks to go!!! (I know this can technically be explained but still!)

The other is morning sickness. Now grant it every pregnancy is different so I will just say that my morning sickness could never figure out what time of day it was…

And now this next one is the reason for the blog this evening. The “terrible twos” (I don’t like this term but we all know what it is) do not actually have an age. Toddlers are toddlers and there is no timeframe that will determine their very unpredictable behavior…

It dawned on me one day this week that Kaitlyn will be 16months old on the 23rd of this month. This is hard for me to grasp because at this young age Kaitlyn is so different then her sister was. One of the main differences being the ability to speak, or should we say the inability to speak! By now Alena and I were having miniature conversations and she could pretty clearly verbally express all of her demands. On the other hand Kaitlyn’s vocabulary consist of about 7 words, 3 of which are open to interpretation.

Up until now Kaity’s laidback personality and quiet presence has spoiled us. Well this weekend she decided I was having it a little too easy and it was time to it up a notch.

On Sunday alone Kaitlyn who normally does not remove her two fingers from her mouth for longer then 3 seconds, managed to open and unload my dresser draws, fill a cup of water during her bath and throw it, open her sippy cup of milk and dunk it on her sister’s bed, knock my soda over into my lap, pull the speakers down off of the TV stand and throw-up in my car! Now she clearly will not be 2 until December so somebody please tell me WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

When Alena was about 9 months old, we decided it was time for a little vacation. I packed up four days worth of diapers, toys, cloths and all the accessories I could fit into the trunk of my Camery and I left my sweet little girl in the loving care of her grandparents. Jonathan and I then headed to Virginia for what was supposed to be our first romantic get-away since our honeymoon.

Well about two hours into the drive, I realized that the entire trip was a bad idea. I started freaking out about leaving my baby! If it was up to me I would have turned around immediately and said forget the whole thing. Jonathan, however, was not having it and was determined to make this trip great. Well he was unsuccessful and I can honestly say it was the most miserable vacation I have ever taken. I literally cried every one of those four days.

Its not that I was worried about Alena, even at that young age she absolutely adored her grandparents and I was sure she was receiving lots of love and care. The problem was the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt for leaving. It just seemed mean to enjoy being away from my baby. I could beat myself over the head for it now, but I remember being bawled up in the bed and sobbing as I if I had forever lost the love of my life.

Well let me just say, it is four years later and thank GOD I no longer have this problem! Jonathan and I just returned from 7 days in Hawaii and the kids spent 8 days in NJ. There were some days that I had to remind myself to call and check on them, haha…I did almost feel a little guilty for that J but overall it was a much needed and much appreciated break for all four of us. Before we left, Alena and I both were counting down the days to our vacation!

Although I have only been doing this mommy thing for four years, I have learned that I am a much better me for them when I allot myself the time needed to be me for me. As mommy’s, wives, I suppose husbands, employees and etc.. there are so many things that we are required to do and often we dig ourselves into such pits of guilt if we don’t meet the expectation. I just think its important to re-evaluate whose expectation’s we are trying to meet. Life is much more pleasant for all involved when we free ourselves from the cloud of “cause I am supposed to."

This is also true for the pressure of writing this blog!!