When Alena was about 9 months old, we decided it was time for a little vacation. I packed up four days worth of diapers, toys, cloths and all the accessories I could fit into the trunk of my Camery and I left my sweet little girl in the loving care of her grandparents. Jonathan and I then headed to Virginia for what was supposed to be our first romantic get-away since our honeymoon.

Well about two hours into the drive, I realized that the entire trip was a bad idea. I started freaking out about leaving my baby! If it was up to me I would have turned around immediately and said forget the whole thing. Jonathan, however, was not having it and was determined to make this trip great. Well he was unsuccessful and I can honestly say it was the most miserable vacation I have ever taken. I literally cried every one of those four days.

Its not that I was worried about Alena, even at that young age she absolutely adored her grandparents and I was sure she was receiving lots of love and care. The problem was the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt for leaving. It just seemed mean to enjoy being away from my baby. I could beat myself over the head for it now, but I remember being bawled up in the bed and sobbing as I if I had forever lost the love of my life.

Well let me just say, it is four years later and thank GOD I no longer have this problem! Jonathan and I just returned from 7 days in Hawaii and the kids spent 8 days in NJ. There were some days that I had to remind myself to call and check on them, haha…I did almost feel a little guilty for that J but overall it was a much needed and much appreciated break for all four of us. Before we left, Alena and I both were counting down the days to our vacation!

Although I have only been doing this mommy thing for four years, I have learned that I am a much better me for them when I allot myself the time needed to be me for me. As mommy’s, wives, I suppose husbands, employees and etc.. there are so many things that we are required to do and often we dig ourselves into such pits of guilt if we don’t meet the expectation. I just think its important to re-evaluate whose expectation’s we are trying to meet. Life is much more pleasant for all involved when we free ourselves from the cloud of “cause I am supposed to."

This is also true for the pressure of writing this blog!!