The great thing about moving “away” is that going “home” becomes a wonderful vacation!
God’s gift to parents with small children is relatives and when you willingly move miles away from them you can truly classify yourself as a little bit of an idiot. However, when you live close to them, they most likely classify you as an ungrateful idiot, who takes advantage of their love for your children. OHHHH, but when you live away and come back to visit suddenly they become the……………uhhhhh…………great relatives that they are!
So the way I see it, moving away is the best of both worlds because when you visit, you have grown folks, with grown children, fighting over when they will get to spend time with your babies. See you might have missed that…they don’t want to see you; they want to see your babies.
What I am saying to you is that living away from your family can be extremely difficult, no question about it. You have to search, interview, pay and sometimes steal a good babysitter. BUT when send word that you are coming “home”, you get phone calls, emails and text messages from people wondering when will they get a turn to give you a break.
I am going home next week and I am so excited that one would think I was going to Paris, but my goodness Baltimore is going to be great!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
I want to take this opportunity to clarify a few myths that have become socially acceptable. However, I think it’s totally unfair because when believed, these untruths will misguide you and lead you down paths of false high hopes.
There are many concepts that fall into this category but today my issue is with the ones surrounding motherhood. One of the biggest is the 9-month pregnancy. I am just not sure why our society has led us to believe pregnancy is a 9-month process. When you are pregnant you count by weeks and a full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks. You do the math, but typically this is 10 months, not 9. So basically after week 36, your doctor will probably tell you that you have about 4 weeks to go!!! (I know this can technically be explained but still!)
The other is morning sickness. Now grant it every pregnancy is different so I will just say that my morning sickness could never figure out what time of day it was…
And now this next one is the reason for the blog this evening. The “terrible twos” (I don’t like this term but we all know what it is) do not actually have an age. Toddlers are toddlers and there is no timeframe that will determine their very unpredictable behavior…
It dawned on me one day this week that Kaitlyn will be 16months old on the 23rd of this month. This is hard for me to grasp because at this young age Kaitlyn is so different then her sister was. One of the main differences being the ability to speak, or should we say the inability to speak! By now Alena and I were having miniature conversations and she could pretty clearly verbally express all of her demands. On the other hand Kaitlyn’s vocabulary consist of about 7 words, 3 of which are open to interpretation.
Up until now Kaity’s laidback personality and quiet presence has spoiled us. Well this weekend she decided I was having it a little too easy and it was time to it up a notch.
On Sunday alone Kaitlyn who normally does not remove her two fingers from her mouth for longer then 3 seconds, managed to open and unload my dresser draws, fill a cup of water during her bath and throw it, open her sippy cup of milk and dunk it on her sister’s bed, knock my soda over into my lap, pull the speakers down off of the TV stand and throw-up in my car! Now she clearly will not be 2 until December so somebody please tell me WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are many concepts that fall into this category but today my issue is with the ones surrounding motherhood. One of the biggest is the 9-month pregnancy. I am just not sure why our society has led us to believe pregnancy is a 9-month process. When you are pregnant you count by weeks and a full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks. You do the math, but typically this is 10 months, not 9. So basically after week 36, your doctor will probably tell you that you have about 4 weeks to go!!! (I know this can technically be explained but still!)
The other is morning sickness. Now grant it every pregnancy is different so I will just say that my morning sickness could never figure out what time of day it was…
And now this next one is the reason for the blog this evening. The “terrible twos” (I don’t like this term but we all know what it is) do not actually have an age. Toddlers are toddlers and there is no timeframe that will determine their very unpredictable behavior…
It dawned on me one day this week that Kaitlyn will be 16months old on the 23rd of this month. This is hard for me to grasp because at this young age Kaitlyn is so different then her sister was. One of the main differences being the ability to speak, or should we say the inability to speak! By now Alena and I were having miniature conversations and she could pretty clearly verbally express all of her demands. On the other hand Kaitlyn’s vocabulary consist of about 7 words, 3 of which are open to interpretation.
Up until now Kaity’s laidback personality and quiet presence has spoiled us. Well this weekend she decided I was having it a little too easy and it was time to it up a notch.
On Sunday alone Kaitlyn who normally does not remove her two fingers from her mouth for longer then 3 seconds, managed to open and unload my dresser draws, fill a cup of water during her bath and throw it, open her sippy cup of milk and dunk it on her sister’s bed, knock my soda over into my lap, pull the speakers down off of the TV stand and throw-up in my car! Now she clearly will not be 2 until December so somebody please tell me WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
When Alena was about 9 months old, we decided it was time for a little vacation. I packed up four days worth of diapers, toys, cloths and all the accessories I could fit into the trunk of my Camery and I left my sweet little girl in the loving care of her grandparents. Jonathan and I then headed to Virginia for what was supposed to be our first romantic get-away since our honeymoon.
Well about two hours into the drive, I realized that the entire trip was a bad idea. I started freaking out about leaving my baby! If it was up to me I would have turned around immediately and said forget the whole thing. Jonathan, however, was not having it and was determined to make this trip great. Well he was unsuccessful and I can honestly say it was the most miserable vacation I have ever taken. I literally cried every one of those four days.
Its not that I was worried about Alena, even at that young age she absolutely adored her grandparents and I was sure she was receiving lots of love and care. The problem was the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt for leaving. It just seemed mean to enjoy being away from my baby. I could beat myself over the head for it now, but I remember being bawled up in the bed and sobbing as I if I had forever lost the love of my life.
Well let me just say, it is four years later and thank GOD I no longer have this problem! Jonathan and I just returned from 7 days in Hawaii and the kids spent 8 days in NJ. There were some days that I had to remind myself to call and check on them, haha…I did almost feel a little guilty for that J but overall it was a much needed and much appreciated break for all four of us. Before we left, Alena and I both were counting down the days to our vacation!
Although I have only been doing this mommy thing for four years, I have learned that I am a much better me for them when I allot myself the time needed to be me for me. As mommy’s, wives, I suppose husbands, employees and etc.. there are so many things that we are required to do and often we dig ourselves into such pits of guilt if we don’t meet the expectation. I just think its important to re-evaluate whose expectation’s we are trying to meet. Life is much more pleasant for all involved when we free ourselves from the cloud of “cause I am supposed to."
This is also true for the pressure of writing this blog!!
Well about two hours into the drive, I realized that the entire trip was a bad idea. I started freaking out about leaving my baby! If it was up to me I would have turned around immediately and said forget the whole thing. Jonathan, however, was not having it and was determined to make this trip great. Well he was unsuccessful and I can honestly say it was the most miserable vacation I have ever taken. I literally cried every one of those four days.
Its not that I was worried about Alena, even at that young age she absolutely adored her grandparents and I was sure she was receiving lots of love and care. The problem was the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt for leaving. It just seemed mean to enjoy being away from my baby. I could beat myself over the head for it now, but I remember being bawled up in the bed and sobbing as I if I had forever lost the love of my life.
Well let me just say, it is four years later and thank GOD I no longer have this problem! Jonathan and I just returned from 7 days in Hawaii and the kids spent 8 days in NJ. There were some days that I had to remind myself to call and check on them, haha…I did almost feel a little guilty for that J but overall it was a much needed and much appreciated break for all four of us. Before we left, Alena and I both were counting down the days to our vacation!
Although I have only been doing this mommy thing for four years, I have learned that I am a much better me for them when I allot myself the time needed to be me for me. As mommy’s, wives, I suppose husbands, employees and etc.. there are so many things that we are required to do and often we dig ourselves into such pits of guilt if we don’t meet the expectation. I just think its important to re-evaluate whose expectation’s we are trying to meet. Life is much more pleasant for all involved when we free ourselves from the cloud of “cause I am supposed to."
This is also true for the pressure of writing this blog!!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Against one of my living room walls is a brown wicker basket full of unimportant mini gadgets and toys. Against another wall is a bouncing black and white zebra wearing red sneakers and an orange saddle. In between my chocolate brown leather sofa and my loveseat is a white nantucket table with 4 pastel colored chairs (yellow, pink, green and blue).
Next to my kitchen table is a high chair and my visible drying rack is full of plastic sippy cups and lids. I have one section of floor kitchen cupboards band shut with a white plastic child proof safety gadget that even I, the adult, has trouble removing. The others are open because they store things like playdough, plastic jars, old measuring spoons and metal bowls.
Next to my garage door I have a wall lined up with tupperware containers. They are clear, so if you were to peek in them you would see a mini-sized canopy bed, a pink car and miniature women, I mean barbies. You would also see things like coloring books, chalk, crayons and stickers.
At any given point my bathroom toilet may very well have a shoe, light bulbs, or wash cloths in it…
Now in the dining room (the off limits room) we have a Dora tent with a long tunnel hanging off of the front. This just never made it out and simply replaced the Christmas tree that sat there two months ago.
As you can imagine, none of these items were made to match my chosen decor. However, they give my home as much character as the girls that play with them have given to my life.
Alena thinks she is a “fashion girl” and she spends her time at home literally stressing over which PJ’s to put on depending on her present play activity. IT’S A BIG DEAL! Kaitlyn, who has just learned to blow her nose doesn’t quite get it because any toy, pillow, doll baby or shirt is fair game for a good blow!
I often think I am crazy but I really think I would be bored to death if I didn’t have these little ladies giving me something to laugh at, look at and think about.
I just needed a little reminder today ;-)
Next to my kitchen table is a high chair and my visible drying rack is full of plastic sippy cups and lids. I have one section of floor kitchen cupboards band shut with a white plastic child proof safety gadget that even I, the adult, has trouble removing. The others are open because they store things like playdough, plastic jars, old measuring spoons and metal bowls.
Next to my garage door I have a wall lined up with tupperware containers. They are clear, so if you were to peek in them you would see a mini-sized canopy bed, a pink car and miniature women, I mean barbies. You would also see things like coloring books, chalk, crayons and stickers.
At any given point my bathroom toilet may very well have a shoe, light bulbs, or wash cloths in it…
Now in the dining room (the off limits room) we have a Dora tent with a long tunnel hanging off of the front. This just never made it out and simply replaced the Christmas tree that sat there two months ago.
As you can imagine, none of these items were made to match my chosen decor. However, they give my home as much character as the girls that play with them have given to my life.
Alena thinks she is a “fashion girl” and she spends her time at home literally stressing over which PJ’s to put on depending on her present play activity. IT’S A BIG DEAL! Kaitlyn, who has just learned to blow her nose doesn’t quite get it because any toy, pillow, doll baby or shirt is fair game for a good blow!
I often think I am crazy but I really think I would be bored to death if I didn’t have these little ladies giving me something to laugh at, look at and think about.
I just needed a little reminder today ;-)
Monday, January 21, 2008
The Fridge
One night last week I made a mini grocery run to Wal-Mart. Once the few bags were unpacked Jonathan stood in front of the fridge and said, “wow this is the most food our fridge has ever had.” I went behind him, looked for myself and had myself one proud moment. I knew that Jonathan was not referring to the few new additions, he was simply acknowledging, for the first time, a (my) work in progress.
I remember being a 23 year old newly wed and standing in front of my refrigerator on the verge of an emotional breakdown. It was empty and I could not figure out why. We had all the necessities: a leftover meal, milk, eggs, soda and some other basics. However when visitors came over, they always commented on how EMPTY my refrigerator was. I vividly remember checking out other’s fridges just to see what was filling up all that space. I tried to buy random things that would never get used but would fulfill the mission of “filling up the fridge.”
I cant remember when I stopped trying and there is no clear point that comes to mind of when it starting filling up on its own. It just has. If you were to ask me what is in there, I probably could not tell you, until its missing and I need to get more.
Jonathan had no idea what his most recent comment actually implied. To him it meant good food and available snacks. To me, it meant growth.
Growth is not something that you can force. Its not like you can say, oh I need A, B and C and then I have grown. We can look at others and try to imitate but the only thing that can truly foster growth is time. Not to ignore the needed efforts, however you can try and try but it won’t happen over night.
There is nothing more satisfying then having someone else bring your growth to your attention. On the opposite end, there is nothing more heartbreaking then having someone look at you, five years later, and not see any change.
Although my fridge has noticeably improved, if I open it years from now and it looks the same as it does today then I know I have a problem. Growth should not come to end.
The next time you open your “fridge”, take a really good look in there and see if you can see a change. Do you still buy the same things? Do you have lots of old things that no longer serve a purpose? Have you swapped things out and exchanged them for better products, or even thrown them out completely?
I know I am a little late for the new year thing but really as we get into this year, focus on growing. I don’t want to be old and wise. I want to be old and wiser. I am committed to filling up my fridge, my pantry and my cupboards. I want my life to be full of proud moments, when others look at areas of my life and without me saying a word, they for the first time acknowledge something different about my work in progress.
I remember being a 23 year old newly wed and standing in front of my refrigerator on the verge of an emotional breakdown. It was empty and I could not figure out why. We had all the necessities: a leftover meal, milk, eggs, soda and some other basics. However when visitors came over, they always commented on how EMPTY my refrigerator was. I vividly remember checking out other’s fridges just to see what was filling up all that space. I tried to buy random things that would never get used but would fulfill the mission of “filling up the fridge.”
I cant remember when I stopped trying and there is no clear point that comes to mind of when it starting filling up on its own. It just has. If you were to ask me what is in there, I probably could not tell you, until its missing and I need to get more.
Jonathan had no idea what his most recent comment actually implied. To him it meant good food and available snacks. To me, it meant growth.
Growth is not something that you can force. Its not like you can say, oh I need A, B and C and then I have grown. We can look at others and try to imitate but the only thing that can truly foster growth is time. Not to ignore the needed efforts, however you can try and try but it won’t happen over night.
There is nothing more satisfying then having someone else bring your growth to your attention. On the opposite end, there is nothing more heartbreaking then having someone look at you, five years later, and not see any change.
Although my fridge has noticeably improved, if I open it years from now and it looks the same as it does today then I know I have a problem. Growth should not come to end.
The next time you open your “fridge”, take a really good look in there and see if you can see a change. Do you still buy the same things? Do you have lots of old things that no longer serve a purpose? Have you swapped things out and exchanged them for better products, or even thrown them out completely?
I know I am a little late for the new year thing but really as we get into this year, focus on growing. I don’t want to be old and wise. I want to be old and wiser. I am committed to filling up my fridge, my pantry and my cupboards. I want my life to be full of proud moments, when others look at areas of my life and without me saying a word, they for the first time acknowledge something different about my work in progress.
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